Aug 20

Aug 20 GIRL, WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK...

Cate Scaglione | Editor, Photographer, Business Owner

Please watch the video first, then let's get to it...

This is one of those posts that isn't so easy to write. I get a knot in my throat expressing it. Because as grown women, we have all felt this way one time or another... In our past or, maybe even right now.

This video triggered the topic, so I've been meaning to write it for some time now. She is an incredible woman I had the good fortune to serve as my client. She is inspiring to me, and every time we connect, she gets me to think about things a little more deeply. I am grateful the universe brought me this person -- and watching the video you will see why.

(c)2018 by Cate Scaglione | Life As Fine Art Boudoir Photography Studio + SpaHair and Makeup Styling by Toni Messina for Life As Fine Art — (c)2018 by Cate Scaglione | Life As Fine Art Boudoir Photography Studio + Spa
Hair and Makeup Styling by Toni Messina for Life As Fine Art

It is not an easy thing to discuss, but I find myself so often having this same discussion with clients of all ages and of every relationship status. But it is time to have a chat about YOU. Yes, you, the one you so often forget to nurture. And by nurture, I mean specifically your sensual life.

A sensual life is not really about sexuality, although maybe that's part of it for some. Sex is something you experience with another person. A sensual life is something you own and practice for the recognition of your feminine SELF. It becomes the fiber of your being and attracts joyful things to you. All things, not just romantic partners.

A sensual life is experiencing your entire life with passion in your purpose, and *allowing* others to share in that experience if you choose. But essentially, it is YOURS. You FEEL life fully, and you want to be on fire in all that you do. Everything is more beautiful, more enjoyable, more heightened. Life is experienced with the knowledge of recognizing your sensual core.

That makes everything happier. And better. And you ultimately *choose* to live your best life, not one that you hope happens by chance.

My job in boudoir photography isn't about sexy photos. IT IS NOT.

People ask me why so many women have this desire to pose for me in their underwear. They simply don't get it. It is not about underwear or exposition -- it is about sensual power. They are craving THAT. Every woman wants to be desired, but she wants desire within herself first.

This thing I do -- it involves helping women reclaim their sensual power. I am an expert in this -- not because I am some wanton sex goddess, (Oh hellllll no!). But, it's because I know what it feels like to be a sensual being then lose it..Then finding it again. I know what happens when the women I work with regain it... and it is powerful.

What I recognize through my work is just how many women exist day to day without feeling their greatest asset in the universe -- which is, in fact being a WOMAN. Being a woman is a powerful thing. I think sometimes we don't truly recognize that.

We focus on power as measured by earnings, or stature or recognition. But that's NOT it. I am not talking about being "girl boss" and all that externally-driven bullshit. I am talking about the innate power of FEELING YOUR BEST SELF as a woman.

LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE, merely because you are a woman and you can do special things. We are built a certain way by the forces of nature, with curves and allure, and emotional sides that men simply do not possess. There is power in that, there is enjoyment in that, and there is happiness to be gained. And as soon as we understand this, we truly can one-up the universe.

I'll say that I am pretty decent with a camera, but my job is often to actually be a sherpa for feminine sensuality among my clients. Clients share their stories with me... some great and some sad... but universally I recognize that we all crave a need to feel passion in our lives.

A few years back, I found myself stuck in an era of the non-sensual life. It was a ME that I never like to see in photos. Or even to think about. I look sad, absent and for a lack of better words -- defeated. It had nothing to do with marriage, or my partner or any of that. And it wasn't really that I had real things to be sad about. It was just that I was so busy taking care of life for everyone else, that I forgot how to live in the mind and body of the woman I was born to be. She was a woman who knew her worth, looked a certain way, took good care of herself, fulfilled core needs and lived a sensual life.

Responsibility is reality...I am not too unrealistic or immature by any means to know that. But when the monotony and weight of responsibility anchors you to a point that you no longer recognize yourself, you stop living that sensual life and start merely existing. You have to find that joy, and as women a large part of that exists in our own sensuality.

So you have to ask yourself, "where is that available to me, for me, by me?" The answer will differ for everyone, but the answer is out there. You will know it when you see it, feel it.

This is why women often do boudoir photo sessions. It is NOT just to give their partner a book that he (/she) can ogle. Sure, we'd absolutely LOVE them to ogle it, be desired. But instead, it is about re-building that innate power ...so we can share some with them, too.

Not everyone is built for this idea, this lifestyle, by nature. But for those who are, it is something you have to live by, or else you wilt. You have to make the choices that help you sustain that sense of being. And when you do not, you will feel like you are merely existing. I want to do more than exist, and I want that for others, too. By practicing this, we are flowers in reverse. From wilting to blooming, in our colorful most vibrant self.

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